autism

Autism, is it really a locked world ?

Here is the first few chapter's of his book that he is working on.


                                                                Autism, is it really a locked world ?

 

 

I am sitting in a crowded room. There's lots of people here, so that would mean, there's lots of sounds as well. I am at a agm meeting. I am sitting on a chair with my legs up on the chair as well. A person comes to sit next to me. I look to see who it is, it's my cousin carley. I look at her meaning to say hi. I do say hi…but my lips aren't moving the way i would like them to. She says "hey adam how are you doing" I give her a gentle touch meaning to say, i'm good thanks. We sit next to each other, then a few minutes later my sister comes, and then sarah and carinna arrive as well. We're all sitting listening to the agm. I am looking around, hearing detailed sounds that are coming from around in the room. I look around and see details in people clothing's, shoes, the walls, chairs, paintings and etc in the room, but i am not looking where everybody is. They are all looking at the speaker, giving the speaker eye contact. I can't do that, it's uncomfortable for me, it can feel threatening to me sometimes, or sometimes there's just to much details to look at then i can't hear what the person is saying. The speaker's are finished speaking, now it's time to have some appetizer's. I am still sitting in my chair as i watch everybody else get up to head over to where the foods and drinks are. Sarah is asking me if i'm going to go there. I look at her then get up and we walk over there. I quickly but cautiously walk over to see what foods there are there. Hmmm….well i can see a few things i kinda like…but most of them i'm not sure of. I'm afraid to take some food. I walk away and walk around the place. I say hi to people i know and am familiar with. They talk to me as well, there isn't really much eye contact coming from me. I try to listen to them but it can be very hard for me with all the other sounds i can hear, the lights are also really bright. I am feeling sensory overload, i have to get away. I go to the hall area where it's quitter, there's a kool handmade house there. i like to look at the details of that little house, and figuring out the physics and how it was made. This little house has become a comfort zone for me, it's my friend now. I then walk away from in and start spinning, it feels good to spin. 

 

Your prolly wondering…why is he giving no eye contact, why is he spinning, why is he…so different ?

 

Well you see i live with autism. Autism is a neurological disorder as some people say. I don't see autism as that. Autism is my brother…that juz happens to live in the same body as me. Some people think autism is a world that people can get locked up in. That people are trapped and can't do anything. That they have no life because they are stuck in a cold world of sadness. Autism is nothing like that.

 

 

                                                                                                                                      Chapter 1

 

I can hear my aunt calling to me saying it's time to get up for school. "Adam it's time to get up buddy, your school bus will be here soon". I don't really want to get up today, it's a cold winter's day…and I am not a fan of cold weather. I try to hide in my red blanket that i've had for year that my sister gave to me. it's my favourite…a little ragged but it does it's job. I can hear my aunt coming down the stairs to my room, she knocks on the door first so that i'm aware that she is going to come in. She walks in and starts to tackle me. I start to laugh cause i'm ticklish, "Come on Adam lets get breakfast ready and then we can get you ready for school ok ?" I get out from under my red blanket and touch her lips to say ok lets do that. We get out my boxer's and a shirt and pants and socks, i put them on…except for the pants. they tend to take a little longer sometimes. You see i can have sensory issues with wearing pants sometimes, I'm not really sure why…but i just do. Maybe it's the feeling around the waist that i don't really like ? I'm not really sure, it just came with the autism package. My aunt has to help me put them on and make sure they stay on. Once we got that done we walk upstairs and i sit on the counter, where i always like to sit when she is cooking food. I like it because it's higher than a regular chairs, my feet can't touch the ground. I feel like a little mountain goat. I am observing her getting the things she needs to make breakfast. I'm not really making any sounds this morning, i'm just kinda quite. I can hear my aunt trying to have a conversation with me, I just keep looking at her and what she's doing. She knows that i can still hear her…even when i don't talk. She's finished making breakfast, she asks me "hey adam i need you to get me to cups and 2 plates and 2 forks and knifes please" I jump down from the counter and toe walk over to the cupboards where those items are. I open the first cupboard and get the 2 plates, then i go to the next one and take out 2 cups and put them on the plate. Then i spin towards the drawers and take out 2 forks and 2 knifes and put them on the plate as well. I look at the plate with the items and it looks good, so i take them to our table and place them on the table right in the centre…I then walk around to see the measurements to make sure that it's exactly in the middle, it has to be. My aunt waits for me to finish doing the measurements then she asks me to set the table up. I am able to do this because she allowed me to finish my usual routine of measuring the items in the middle of the table. I then sit in my usual spot…it's where i always sit. I've been sitting in that same spot for 16 years. My aunt sometimes change where she sits, but for me i can't do that, it has to be the same spot every time. I sit with my feet on the chair and i look like a little golem protecting his food from others. Our dog buddy comes over to me and tries to beg for food. I look at him then look away and not really paying attention to him begging for food. He then walks away and walks over to my aunt. She says "buddy no begging go lie down" Buddy blinks a couple times and keeps staring, and licks his lips. Obviously he isn't listening to what she is saying, so she takes him to where he should be when we are eating, he listens and lies down on his bed, with 2 paws on the kitchen floor. I can see him do this and i know he's going to try to sneak in. I pretend that i don't notice. My aunt finishes her breakfast before me, she usually does, because i tend to look at the details of the foods, so that's why i can take a longer time to eat. I then take a sip of my drink, i can picture in my mind how the water is going down to my stomach. It's interesting to me. I then finish my breakfast, and i try to get up to run around in the house. I run to the living room and try to stand on the couch, but before i have a chance to, my aunt comes to me and puts her hand on my chest to slow me down. "hey adam i think you forgot to do something, do you know what you forgot to do ?" she asks me, I run back to the table and take my plate and cup and place it in the sink. "thanks for doing that buddy you can continue now" I go back to the couch and stand on the arm rest, i try to reach up to the fan, darn just a little to far to reach, i have to get down and move the couch closer towards the fan. We have fans on our ceilings, i really like those fans, i stand back on the couch on the arm rest, yes i can reach the fan, i then start to spin the fan and start counting numbers. The numbers my aunt can hear me count them. I'm non-verbal at times, but she has learned how i can still communicate when i'm non-verbal. I count to 60, 9 times, so that would equal 9 minutes of me spinning the fan. My school bus has arrived now, my aunt comes to me and asks me to get my shoes and jacket on. I put the shoes on and put my backpack on as well. "adam you need to put your jacket on it's cold outside" I have my hoodie  on so i don't need a coat on i'm thinking, i squint at her meaning to say no i don't want to. I don't like to wear jackets or coats, it's another sensory issue i have, that came with the autism package as well. My aunt gets my jacket from the coat rack. "can you please put this on" I take it from her and throw it on the ground and yell. She then looks at me and asks me to pick it up and try again to communicate with her in a way she can understand better. I pick up the jacket and give it back to her. "adam i know you don't like to wear you jacket, but can you put it on for the bus ride then at school you can take it off again" I squint at her again. She then gives me 2 choices, with her right hand she makes a fist and does a half down motion and says "I can put it on for you or" and does the same motion with her left hand "you can put it on yourself" she then asks "which choice would you like" I then touch her left hand and make an mmmm sound. "ok thank you for making that choice can you please complete that choice for me". I put the jacket on. The bus is waiting outside, i take my backpack, it's green and blue, the same colours as my brother, sister, aunt and cousin's work. It's called power to be, I'm very involved with them, I really love it there. We get to do lots of outdoor adventures. I will explain about that more later on. 

 

I arrive at school and put my backpack at my desk there. " good morning adam" says my teacher, Mr. Allen. I really like this teacher, he's really nice to me and has learned how to work with me and my autism. I looked at him and touch his hand to say good morning. He knows how i can communicate when i'm non-verbal. I soon see my other friends walk into the class. I'm part time in a classroom specific for kids with autism, and I get a couple hours of a mainstream classroom. When i arrive in class Mr. Allen knows i like to count the mr. potato heads in his class room on the shelf. Mr. Allen likes to collect mr. potato heads wich i think is an interesting collection. He has 45, but today i counted 46. I thought i made a mistake so I counted a couple more times. I then walk over to Mr. Allen with the new potato head and give it to him. Mr. Allen starts to laugh a bit, I can't understand why he is laughing, so i give him a confused look, "I see you've noticed i have a new mr. potato head" I still look at him blankly. This is a new change to a routine that i'm used to. I can't understand why it changed yet. He explains "well you see adam i know you really like disney pixar's toy story a lot and i know you like to count my mr. potato heads, so when i was at the mall yesterday and i saw they had these at the store i decided to buy one. Can i ask you permission if we may keep it in the classroom, now you will have 46 to count" I look at him, then i look at the mr. potato head, it's a buzz lightyear one, i think it's pretty kool, so i touch Mr. Allen's hand to say yes we can keep him, "thanks adam, the new mr. potato head will be happy to stay here and get to know you", It's 10:00 am, it's time for maths, everyday we start on with maths, i think it's because it's the hardest subject for me a couple of my friends so Mr. allen like to get the hard stuff done with first, and if we do well we can do something fun after. I go to my desk and grab my books, my friend neal sits next to my on my left and my other friend keli sits next to my on my right. Our other friends sit at there desks as well. We get our maths done. We do maths for half an hour. Me and neal can sometimes have a hard time sitting down for a long time so usually after we do some work we then are allowed to have a short break and let our body's move so we don't store up energy. Neal likes to run in circles while i spin in the middle. Mr. Allen thinks it's funny and interesting how we do this together. With our autism, we don't really "play" like how most other kids would. We have our own style of playing together. Our 10 minutes is up, and Mr. Allen walks over to us. "hey guys do you know what time it is"…Mr. Allen isn't really getting any response back, i keep spinning while neal is running around me.  Mr. Allen then walks into the circle and neal is about to run into him, Mr. Allen catches neal and asks neal to head over to to table so we can do some cooking. Neal walks to the table and sits down. Mr. Allen then touches my shoulders, i stop spinning…wow i feel dizzy. Mr. Allen asks me to go to the table to where neal is and sit down. I start to bite my shirt. I don't always like cooking, i knew we were gonna do some cooking. The reason why i sometimes don't like cooking is because of the unexpected sounds of metal hitting each other, i really really do not approve of that sound, it hurts my ears to much and i can feel the sound on my teeth as well wich i don't like. Mr. Allen is aware that sometimes i will try to put up a fight to get out of cooking, but our goal for him and me is to be able for me to do some cooking without any tantrums. "adam you shirt is getting all soggy and you won't like that feeling remember" Mr. Allen tries to remind me to not bit my shirt. I try again to bite my shirt and Mr. Allen places his hand on my shirt so i can't life it up. He gives me a gentle push to help my body walk towards the table. I walk a couple steps but then i let my body drop down on the ground and i start to scream. Mr. Allen remains calm, it's important for him because i can pick up on his energy if he feels frustrated or is scared. "Adam i can't understand what you are trying to tell me when your yelling, when you are ready to let me know i can listen to you. I will place your ipad next to you and you can let me know ok ?", I scream a couple of times then stops. I sit up and look at my ipad. I then start to type "i am ready to tell you, can you please come here Mr. Allen. Mr. Allen walks over to me and kneels down to my level and listens. I type "I don't know what we are doing today, can we try to make sure there's no metal sounds hitting each other please, it hurts my ears and teeth". Mr. Allen looks at me and says "thank you for telling me that in a calm way Adam, of course we can try our best to make sure there's no metal sounds". We then get up and walk over to the table where neal is. Today is mine and neals turns to make lunch for the class. The other's are working on some other work while me and neal cook. Neal is also non-verbal at times. He has autism as well. Neal is my best friend. We have other teachers in the classroom to help with the other students. There's 10 students in this classroom and 5 other teacher's. Me and neal are both 16 years of age. His birthday is in may and mine is in June.  We were both adopted from europe. We like to say we're twins but one of us ended up with the wrong hair colour we joke. Neal has blondish hair, and i have dark brown with a tint of reddish. Neal is from russia and i'm from romania, but the place i was born in is very close to russia. Mr. Allen is the main teacher in the classroom with teacher assistants as well. Mr. Allen specializes in autism and non-verbal autism as well, so me and neal feel most comfortable working with him on harder tasks. We also work with the other teachers but sometimes it can be difficult for us as they are still learning about autism. Me and neal like to teach people about autism and even Mr. Allen learns a lot from us that he didn't know about. Mr. Allen asks me and neal what we would like to make today, he writes down 2 choices. The choices are gluten free pizza, or gluten free pasta. I choose pizza, it was the first word i learned to say. Neal chose pasta, "oh dear it looks like we have 2 different choices today, what should we do ?" says Mr. Allen. He then asks if we would like to make both. Me and neal agree to make both items. We get on our cooking clothes so that our other clothes don't get dirty from when we cook. I open the drawer to get the items we need to make the foods. Pretty much almost everything in our cupboards and drawers are plastic because i can't handle the metal sounds, so Mr. Allen got plastic items for us. This is much better because then i'm able to do cooking without any tantrums like how i used to have before i was able to tell what the problem was. Our pots and pans have to be metal tho so sometimes if those make a sound i can have a little tantrum. Our sink is a type of plastic as well. Mr. Allen gets out the pictures for how to make a pizza and pasta for me and neal to use. It's easier for us to understand how to make them if we can see the steps in pictures. Mr. Allen helps us make the foods as well. Things were going well the classroom wasn't to loud, then all of a sudden we hear a loud crash. Me and neal quickly cover our ears, we don't like unexpected loud sounds, it hurts our ears and scares us. I can hear Wyatt say "Mr. Allen come quick keli broke the plant pot again" Keli likes to have flowers in front of his face, he likes to look at the flowers really closely and likes to smell them. Sometimes Keli will pull the plants out of the pot and if there small ones on a ledge he'll pull on them but the pot may fall on the ground, as it just did. One of the other teacher's walks over to Keli and helps him clean up the mess. Mr. Allen asks for everybody to continue what they were doing and that it will be ok. Me and neal are almost done making the foods, we just have to heat them up and lunch will be ready, it's almost 12:00 pm as well. I put the pizza in the stove and watch it cook. Mr. Allen asks me to start doing some dishes, neal is almost done making the pasta as well and then he will wash his dishes.  "ding" The timer on the stove went off, our foods are ready for us to have. We set up the table then invite everyone to come sit down to eat. We all have our own spots where we like to sit. 

 

After lunch was over, me and neal finished cleaning up the dishes we got our books ready to go to our other classes. Me and Keli had science class together in the mainstream classrooms. One of the teacher assistants Miss. Stewart took us today. Sometimes we have different teacher assistants that come with us to class. Our science teacher is Mr. James. Mr. James hasn't really had any autistic  kids in his class before but was excited to have me and keli in his class. He's very accepting of people with all abilities. Mr. James has learned how we can communicate if we're non-verbal. He's leered the half down motion with hands like fists. Today in science we're going to be looking at things through a microscope. I havn't really used microscopes before so i was feeling a little nervous and anxious. Keli was already standing near the plants in the room looking at them. I think he would be a good gardener because he really likes them. Mr. James tells the class what we will need and so we walk over the the cupboards where all the microscopes are. He goes over quick guide of how to use the microscopes and how the clean them and put them away after we're done. Miss. Stewart got keli to come sit down with us. Every week we do labs Mr. James likes to put people in partner groups. This week our friends Allison and Tyler are our partners. I like them they're funny when together. We got a few items that we wanted to look under the scope. Keli decided to get some of the cactus plant. He took a thorn from it. I chose one of the cells that Mr. James had out in little glass slides. It was very interesting to see in real life, i havn't seen anything like it before, so it was kool. Keli looked at it as well, then he put in his thorn to see how it was. We then had to write of what we saw and what we thought of it. Miss. Stewart has to help Keli write on the paper because he doesn't really know to to write lots of words yet, but he is learning. I use my ipad then show it to Mr. James. After science class was over me and keli and Miss. Stewart went back to the other class. We left our bags there and it was time for us all to do some p.e. I don't mind p.e. class but it can sometimes be hard for me to stay focused. Today we were going to play some basketball and futbol. I prefer futbol better. I'll either be goal or defence or striker. Neal usually likes to be striker as well. Keli prefer basketball. We all take turns of playing each sport. It was my turn to play basketball now. Mr. Allen tries the pass me the ball. I missed it because i'm in my own world just thinking about stuff. Mr. Allen goes and gets the ball then come sup to me and shows me the ball so i can see it. He then says "adam can you watch the ball, i'm going to pass it to you now, then i would like you to pass it back to me, ok ". I watch him pass the ball to me. I catch it, but then  just end up holding it, i then drop it on the ground and start spinning. Mr. Allen gets the ball again and repeats it with me. I then pass it to him the second time. Mr. Allen said "good job you passed it to me, thank you". He then passed it to keli and keli threw it in the net. He's good at getting the ball in the net. P.E. class is over now and we all head back to the class room to get our backpacks and books packed up so we can be ready for the bus. It's about 2:30 pm. I run back to the class room. I get all my things packed up and sit at my desk waiting for us to go outside to wait for the bus. Once everybody else got there stuff together we all walked out to the back where the bus' come. The school day is over and i get to go back home. 

 

 

                                                                                                                                                       Chapter 2

 

Ah finally home. I drop my backpack in my room downstairs then run back upstairs to spin the fan again. The fan helps calm me down a little after a long day of school. My aunt is still at work but she should be home around 6:30 pm. It's ok if i'm at home alone for a few hours. but i can't be left home along for long hours and days. With my autism I can get stuck in my own little world, and then i will forget to eat and go to the washroom. I have to have somebody around to help remind me to eat and drink and use the washroom. Maybe that's why i'm such a stick bug right now, cuz i can forget to eat, No i'm just joking, i apparently have a really high metabolism, and i do lots of outdoor activity with power to be.  After i spin the fan for 9 minutes, i then go to my room and blast on the music on my boom box. I do have high sensitivity to sounds, but i guess when it's sounds that i make it doesn't really bother me as much. I think that's because i know that i'm the one who's in control of that sound. With the outside world there's lots of sounds that i can't control and so it's hard for me to deal with sometimes. If i'm walking in central town, and here in victoria b.c there's only 2 season by the way, rain, and construction. So with the construction always happening around here, and i'm walking by them, they sometimes will have loud machinery which will hurt my ears a lot. Some people might think that it doesn't bother me, but really it does, i try my best not to show it because i'm afraid they will make fun of me and start to copy me if i cover my ears and call me names like retard. I really don't approve of that word, because autism is not a retard, he just processes the world in a different way than most people do. I have one republic playing really loud on my boom box, the volume is at level 50. I like to rock out to the music, meaning i rock my body back and fourth while standing, and i will also spin and jump around as well. I don't really know why i do this, it juz feels good. I get lots of excited energy out. Sometimes i will sign along to the words of the songs that i like and know, and sometime i will just have simple conversations, not in like full sentences but just words that i like or have herd from movies and phrases. This is part of autism as well, preservation, meaning repeating words or lines that i like or have herd from people or movies. I also like to make sounds a lot, i actually used to only be able to make vocal sounds before i was taught how to talk in words. I didn't start talking till i was about 7 years of age. There was lots of repetition to help me learn how to say one word, so example would be, pizza or chalk, or bag. This went on for awhile, i'm not really sure how long it took me till one night i said my first word. We were eating pizza one night and then i was looking at my plate and said pizza, it was at slow pace at first because i was trying to see how the words would sound. Once i was able to say pizza, a new routine was added. Almost anything that i went by in the house or places, people who were with me would ask what's this, if i couldn't say the word they would say it first then i would repeat it. It's almost like learning a new language, where they have those sticky tabs that u can place on objects to learn wut the words mean and stuff. Eventually i was able to say words on my own, now we were practicing sentences. This was harder for me because i had to learn how t put more than one word together at one time. It was hard for me to be able to picture how the words would sound. This took longer for me to learn. I even now still can have trouble of forming proper sentences sometimes. I just feel like my mouth won't and can't say the words that i'm hearing and picturing in my mind. Some vocal word sounds are harder for me to make. I'm good at saying words with eeee, and da, or mmmm, or bah, aaahhh and sometimes zzzz sounds. Other's word sounds are harder for me, especially when i'm in my non-verbal state. I don't mind being in my non-verbal state sometimes, but it's hard for other's to understand me when i try to communicate with them if they don't know me and my autism. I usually like to ask people when i first meet them if they know about autism. I don't do this this so they can feel sorry for me, for people to feel sorry for me is the last thing on earth i would want them to do. I like to make sure they have some knowing of autism so that they won't judge me as weirdo and stupid and retard right away. I feel more comfortable of letting people know bout me and autism. If people don't really know about autism i'm always happy to teach them as much as i can about autism, and even if people already do know something about autism i'm always happy to teach them more. I think my goal and reason for being on this crazy planet is to teach people about autism and about differences and acceptance, that's what i believe at least. I'm feeling hungry, I look at my watch, no wonder it's almost 6:30, my aunt should be home soon. I run back upstairs and wait for her on the couch in the living room. Buddy is just lying down on the floor in front of me. While i'm waiting i juz look around and then stare at my hands for a bit, i then hear the door open. My aunt is home, i'm happy to see her. She says "hey adam how's it going, hey buddy" She walks over to the kitchen and i follow her, i have my ipad with me and i can let her know how my day went. I told her that me and neal had done cook and we got to make pizza and pasta. She said " oh wow good job for making those" She asks me what i would like for dinner, i tell her i want pizza. "Adam you already had pizza today at school, remember we can't have the same thing in one day" With my autism i tend to like to have the same foods over and over again. Pizza is probably my favourite. What my aunt is trying to teach me is to try having different types of food each night. I must say it can be hard sometimes cause i will want the food that i'm used to and really like, so trying new foods is can be difficult. It also has to do with my sensory issues. Some types of foods i'm good with, but some other types of foods are hard for my sensory issues. I really like pasta's i think because there soft foods, i have kind of notice i tend to eat soft foods more than i do with foods that are crunchy. I don't really like lots of food that a green i think as well, but i do like cucumber and celery i don't mind sometimes and same with green peppers.  My aunt gets items ready for cooking, i go and sit on the counter where i usually sit when she's cooking. I really like that counter. I always have liked sitting on counters for some reason. As she's cooking i am making my random little sounds, my aunt has gotten used to these sounds so she doesn't mind me doing them. Sometimes she will try to help me control my sounds if they get out of hand. I will make sounds if i'm trying to communicate or if i'm just happy, or sometimes upset, but my aunt has learned how to tell wich sounds mean what. Right now the sounds i'm making are happy ones, i'm happy she's home and we get to have dinner soon, i'm really hungry from all that rocking out. My aunt finished making dinner so she asks me to get some plates and cups for us. We also feed buddy some of his food. After dinner we clean up then we play a game. After the game it's time to get ready for bed. My aunt helps me get ready for bed, We also pack my bigger backpack because i'm staying at my cousins for the rest of the week. My aunt has to go away for a few days for work, and so usually when she goes away i either get to stay at one of my cousin's place or at my sister's place, but my sister will be going with my aunt on this trip as well. They are gonna go to seattle for a workshop about power to be. Once we got my other backpack packed up and i was in bed, my aunt read me a book that we were reading together. It's a story about Klee Wyck the orca from b.c. After she read a few pages it was time for me to sleep. I don't really like to sleep, but i ended up sleeping.

 

 

 

                                                                                                                                      Chapter 3

 

I wake up at 7:00 am. I think i may be excited to be staying at my cousin carley's house. I run upstairs in my boxers to see if my aunt is awake. She's slightly awake. I sneak into the kitchen to see if there's any food for me to eat. Well there isn't really much here. There's some frozen fries wich i like to eat, i'm not sure why but i just do. Buddy has herd me opening the bag and so when he hears bags open he knows it must be food. My aunt eventually wakes up and finds me sitting on the counter with a bag of frozen fries. She tells me that eating frozen fries isn't really all that good for me. I don't mind, it just taste good to me. She then says that she will get some breakfast ready, so i then give her the bag and she puts it back in the freezer. I'm feeling a little cold now because i was eating the frozen fries and i'm only in my boxers. My aunt asks me to go put a shirt and pants on, so i go back to my room and grab a shirt, but no pants. I go back to the counter and just about to sit on it, she noticed i didn't get any pants. "adam you need to put some pants on, lets go put your pants on". I walk really slowly with her back to my room to put some pants on, did i mention i'm not a fan of pants sometimes. She gets out 2 pairs of pants and asks me which ones i would like to wear. I choose the black ones with reflectors on the sides, and we put them on. We go back upstairs and the toast is ready. After breakfast my bus arrives and i head out to the bus. Today at school we're going to go on a field trip to the museum, i really like the museum. i arrive at school and put my backpack away then go to count the mr. potato heads. There isn't 45 anymore because Mr. Allen had gotten that new one, so now there's 46. I still have to get used to the new routine of counting 46 Mr. potato heads instead of 45. "hello adam, how are you today" asks Mr. Allen. I give him a quick look and smile and touch his hand to say i'm good. My friends neal and keli arrive in class, followed by my other class mates.  We all sit at our desks and Mr. Allen gives us all a copy of what today will be like at the museum. This is exciting because at the museum there's a new exhibit about prehistoric life. Henry was really excited about this. henry has asperger's which is part of autism, but a higher level. It can often be mistaken as being high function autism. There are a few differences between high functioning autism and asperger's. I havn't really found out what exactly the differences are, but i just remembered hearing this often. I have noticed tho with me and my friends who have asperger's, is that, in drama class when we pretend play, it seems like they can pretend play better than i'm able to. And even outside of drama henry and jacob are able to pretend play with there imagination. I have imagination, but doing the actions in life to pretend play is difficult for me. Sometimes i wish i can be able to pretend play the way they can, but my autism package didn't include that. Henry loves to pretend he's a dinosaur and is catching his prey, so he tends to chase other's around a lot. I don't mind this sometimes because i like being chased around. Neal will often just give henry a look and henry will stop trying to chase neal. Keli will try to give henry a flower, but henry sometimes will pretend that he's eating it, keli doesn't always like that. After Mr. Allen gave us the schedule and told us how the day was going to look like we all got our back packs and walked over to the city bus stop. We take the number 11 to get to central town, that's where the museum is. Me and neal like to be in front of the line, that makes us feel like we're the pack leaders. Mr. Allen is in front of us tho, but sometimes i will try to go in front of him. Mr. Allen reminds me to slow down and make sure i wait for him, because if we're on the streets and about to cross i can't see the cars that most people can. If a car is about 30 feet in front of my and i'm in my own wold, i won't see that car at all, i sometimes don't see cars until they come right up close, and we try to avoid that. What i've been taught now is to watch the person next to me to see when they cross, so i always watch Mr. Allen to see when he crosses the street. Ivan is really excited about going on the city bus', he loves them. He has been able to remember all the schedules for each of the bus' in the city, so that means all the times of each bus and each stop for all the bus'. I think that's pretty kool how he remembers them all. Ivan would really love to be a bus drive he says, some people think he can't because of his autism. I think he could tho, his autism is high functioning like mine, except he doesn't loose his vocal words like i do. We get on the city bus, ivan likes to be right up at the front so he can watch the bus driver. I like to be near the back so i can watch the door open and close. We're kind of all scattered around on the bus. Mr. Allen sits at the very back so he can watch us all. I go up to Mr. Allen to ask him if i can pull the wire so the bus will know when to stop. Because i don't speak with vocal words, i touch Mr. Allen lips  and make a sound, meaning to say talk. I then touch the wire and then touch him to ask if i can pull the wire. Mr. Allen has learned how i communicate so he asks me a question and does the half down fist motion which i know. "adam are you asking me, do you want to pull the wire, yes or no" I touch his right hand to say yes. "ok thanks for asking, you may pull the wire, but on the way back somebody else will get to pull it, deal ?" I touch his shoulder to say deal. We're almost in central town, so that means our stop is coming close, i look at Mr. Allen and he says i can pull the wire now, so i pull it and i hear the "ding" sound and can see the sign on the bus light up. Mr. Allen and the teacher assistants gets us all ready to get off the bus, I say bye in vocal word. "good job adam for saying bye" Mr. Allen tries to encourage me to use my vocal words when i can. This is to help me be able to talk with vocal words. At school we also have speech therapy, i don't mind it most of the time. My friend leanne doesn't really like it tho, she says it's boring. Henry is really excited and starts to run. Mr. Allen catches him and reminds him that he needs to calm his body down before we go into the museum. We all go the the benches outside of the museum, and Mr. Allen lets us know what the rules of the museum are before we go inside. We're not allowed to touch things because some items in there can't be touched. He said we will be allowed to go to the kids centre after, and that's where we will be allowed to play and touch items there. We walk inside to the groups centre to meet our tour guide there. Our tour guide asks us to leave our backpacks in the coatroom. I can feel my body starting to get anxious, Mr. Allen notices that I'm getting anxious. I don't like to leave my backpack in places that i'm not used to, i have to have the heavy weight to help my body feel grounded. Mr. Allen explains to me that i can't bring my backpack with me because it's part of the museum rules. I feel like screaming right now. Mr. Allen then asks me if he can help my body feel grounded by giving me some deep pressures while where in there. i let him know that would be good, So i then leave my backpack in the coat room, the tour guide says thank you to me. We start going upstairs to see the exhibits. There's lots of interesting things here, we all want to spread out and look around but we have to stay as a group. Me neal and keli sometimes forget and so we get reminded that we have to stay with the group. I go up to Mr. Allen and touch his hand, this is me telling him that my body is not feeling grounded, He gives my firm little touch on my shoulder to help me. We are going to the victoria history part of the museum, this is my favourite part, as i really like old styles. There's the old towns train stop. I head over there, neal doesn't really like it. The sound of the train there is to loud for him. It doesn't bother me to much because i've gotten used to the sound. I like to look around in the train station. Mr. Allen gives me a 5 minutes warning to let me know that i have 5 more minutes in the train station before we go to the next place. After my 5 minutes are up we then go to the dinosaur exhibit, but before we do Mr. Allen reminds us how we need to keep our bodies calm so that we can go see the new exhibit. Henry is having a little difficulty with this right now. Mr. Allen helps henry by doing some counting with him and asks henry to let him know what we need to do. Henry says that he's ready now, and so we all walk in the exhibit. This is really neat, there's a huge t-rex skeleton and a stegosaurus and also a parasaurolophus. I really like the parasaurolophus. There interesting creatures. There's a dinosaur puzzle on the floor and the tour guide said that we're allowed to finish finish the puzzle. I really like puzzles. Henry's more into looking at the fossils that were there. neal is walking around just looking at everything. Keli is interested in the dinosaurs that are only plant eaters. He likes to read about what kind of plants the dinosaurs ate. Mr. allen lets us know that as soon as we finish the puzzle it will be time to go back downstairs and we can have some time in the kids section, then it will be time for lunch. Once we've finished the puzzle we all went back downstairs to go to the kids section. In the kids section they have computers with games on them. I like these ones because there all science games and i love science activities. There's also a hand on section and books. After the kids section we went back to the coat room and got our backpacks. I was happy to get mine back. We went to the cafe that was in the museum and all sat down to have our lunch. Mr. Allen and a couple of the other teacher assistants got some coffee. I guess the need to be refuelled on caffeine to keep track of us all. I have pasta for lunch. Ivan sees that i also have 2 double chocolate cookies. He really likes cookies so he tries to take mine. I start to yell at him. Mr. Allen hear me yelling and see that ivan is trying to take my cookies. Mr. Allen walks up to ivan and says" ivan we can't take other people food, we have to eat our own lunches ok" Ivan looks at Mr. Allen then says" but i want those cookies, they look so good". Mr. Allen the replies "i know they do, but those are adams, if you like we can write a note home asking if you can bring cookies to school tomorrow". "I want those 2 cookies, i don't want other cookies i want those 2 cookies" says ivan". I'm starting to feel nervous that my cookies will be eaten before i get a chance to so i start to stuff them in my mouth, with my eyes watching ivan. My mouth is so full with cookies right now, i feel like a chipmunk. Mr. Allen looks at me and couldn't help but laugh. He then said to ivan that those cookies are gone now, because there in adam's mouth and we can't eat food from other people. Ivan then goes and sits down and eats his lunch, then looks at me and sticks his tongue out. I then make a mmmm sound meaning to say, hey  he stuck his tongue out at me. Mr. Allen shakes his head and then tells me that i need to finish eating those cookies. neal walks over to me and pokes my cheeks, I look at him and start laughing, oops some cookies came out of my mouth. There was a mess happening, i had to clean it up after. After lunch we walked over to the park across the museum and just relaxed and played some group games. Keli was studying the flowers there, me and neal were running and spinning in circles, and the other's were playing games. Soon it was time to go back to the school. Mr. Allen gave us all a time warning of 5 more minutes till we walk to the bus stop. We all got our things packed up and bags and started to walk to the bus stop. I was ahead of everybody, a little to ahead. Sometimes my road sense isn't always the best so i may just continue to walk into the street with out looking, and so Mr. Allen had to tell me to stop and wait at the corner. I waited for everybody to catch up to me and then continue. We had to wait for a few minutes till our bus got to the stop. The bus came and we got on and i sat in my usual spot that i do in the bus. I was really tired because it was a long day for me, i couldn't wait to get home. Once we got back to school, Mr. allen gave us a quick assignment about what we learned at the museum and what our favourite part was. This was our homework for the night. 


autism's poems 

 

In A Box:

 

I live in an invisible box.

It's a quiet, private and secure little world.

I know, control and understand

every inch of my box.

I feel its comforting edges as I rock and flap.

It sings back when I hum and moan.

It's the perfect place to hide.

Then you open a flap and invite me out.

You always think it's too stuffy inside.

But outside is a frightening place.

So noisy, bright and confusing.

Information comes from all sides,

far too much, too fast.

It breaks my box, leaving me naked.

I scream in shame and fear.

You look at me funny,

unable to see the pieces at my feet.

I build myself a smaller, thicker box.

A box so thick the world is safely distant.

I know you don't understand, but please listen.

My invisible box is my special world.

Please don't break it again.